13 Clear Signs That Someone Doesn't Respect You

 

Feeling disrespected can upset you and make it difficult to remember all the amazing qualities that you can boast of. While it's important to keep a positive attitude and give people the benefit of the doubt, understanding the red flags of disrespect will allow you to stand up for yourself and boost your self-esteem. From subtle hints to classic warning signs of disrespectful behavior, it's important to know what to look out for and how you can achieve the respect you deserve.

What you should know

- Study how they behave around you. Don't they give you their full attention, reject your ideas, exclude you, or treat you in silence?

- Watch out for attempts to insult, humiliate, or even get angry at you.

- Ask yourself if you feel that you are being underestimated, or if you like that your efforts or work are not being recognized.

1. They don't recognize your efforts.

Ask yourself, "Do I feel appreciated?" Disrespectful people ignore the work you've put into something. They may even take credit for your efforts and success. You are valuable as a person and deserve recognition for your contributions. Make a list of your own successes and positive character traits to assert yourself, no matter what others say. Then talk to the disrespectful person or people about how you feel.

- At the workplace, talk to your boss about what you have achieved. Ask them for their opinion on your strengths so that they have the opportunity to think about the value you add: “I would like to hear your opinion on what you think my strengths are and how I can use them for the company. I know that in the last three months my team has achieved ...”

- In a conversation with a partner or friend, use “I” statements to let them know that you feel undervalued: “It hurts and I'm a little disappointed when you don't thank me for cooking dinner every night.”

2. They don't finish the job.

Beware of unfulfilled promises that indicate a lack of respect. Sometimes friends, bosses, and partners are overwhelmed with work or other commitments. However, if someone constantly snaps at you, it can hurt, and it may be a sign that they don't value your time or relationship enough. Talk to them about the impact of their actions on you and ask if there is anything preventing them from fulfilling their obligations.

- To a friend/partner: “I'm upset that we had to cancel dinner again last night. Could you tell me a little more about why this happened?”

- To a colleague/boss: “Have you already had the opportunity to familiarize yourself with this proposal? I would like to move forward with it, but I won't be able to until it is approved.”

- As a bonus, behave with authority and confidence to show that you deserve respect: if you speak softly, speak louder and articulate clearly. Adopt the correct posture. If you like to sit in the back of the room or in a corner, sit in front or in the center.

3. They only come to you when they need something.

Does this person support you, even if he has nothing to gain from it? You can show genuine interest in their lives, but it's not a fair relationship if you get care and attention in return only when the other person can benefit from it. An unbalanced relationship can make you feel frustrated. Set boundaries for your time and energy by limiting contact with this person and saying “no” when he demands too much from you.

4. They treat you in silence.

Avoidance or “ghostliness” signals that the person may not appreciate your relationship. You may feel stressed or upset when someone offends you — and that's okay, because we're programmed to be social beings. Ask them to tell you what's going on. There may be other things going on in their lives that make it difficult to talk, or they may intentionally distance themselves from you. In this case, talk to him directly, as answering silence can psychologically increase your stress.

-Avoid aggravating the situation by calmly explaining the situation, your behavior and the impact it had on you: “The other day I sent you a message to register. I noticed that you haven't had a chance to respond yet. I feel pretty upset about it and I'm worried about you.”

5. They don't give you their full attention.

Look for multitasking, constant presence on the device and lack of eye contact. Listening is a key part of respect! Formulate expectations about how you would like to communicate, and let the person or people know that you can wait until they finish what they are doing before speaking.

- For a colleague or boss: “I don't want to interfere with what you are doing. Should we reschedule the meeting?”

- For a friend or partner: “I love you and I want to spend time with you usefully. How about having dinner without a phone?”

6. They interrupt you.

Verbal interruption indicates blatant disrespect. Your ideas and what you want to say are important. In a workplace situation, avoid interruptions by first familiarizing the other person with what you are going to say, and then informing them when you answer questions or ask them to contribute. For friends or partners, start a face-to-face conversation somewhere alone about what you've noticed and how you feel about it.[11]

- For the workplace: “I would love to introduce you to some of the ideas that I have for the Park Blvd. project, and then, after I figure out what I have outlined, I would appreciate your input.”

- For a friend or partner: “I've noticed that you sometimes interrupt me when I'm talking. I like your enthusiasm, but I get upset when I can't finish what I'm saying.”

- For a less confrontational approach, you can reach out to the group to form new expectations: “Let's work on being more attentive during the performance and make sure we give everyone a chance to express their ideas.”

7. They reject you and your ideas.

Beware of both verbal and non-verbal disparaging behavior. Someone who does not respect you can often reject your ideas or suggestions, especially in the presence of others. They may even roll their eyes or laugh out loud at what you say. This behavior does not mean that your ideas are bad, and it is their loss. Speak for yourself, pushing back when someone fires you.

- Insist on your own and repeat your idea, arguing why it is good: “Listen to me. I really think it could work because...”

- Remind the person of your value and qualifications: “The last project I worked on turned out much better than expected, and therefore I think we should give it a try.”

8. They don't respect your boundaries.

Respectful people listen when you say no. Disrespectful people may push your boundaries in small ways, such as planning a date—even if you said you didn't want to go anywhere that night—or they may violate your boundaries by calling you a derogatory word. Express what you need in a relationship, clearly define what you don't want, and understand that you have the right to say no.

- In the workplace, clearly identify your workload or problem and suggest an alternative: “Thank you so much for this opportunity. Unfortunately, I can't take on another project right now as I'm about to launch our new line. Could we come back after the launch next week?”

- In your personal life, be honest, but firm in your needs. Look for a compromise if possible: “I would like to spend more time with you, but to be honest, I'm so tired by the weekend. Could we set aside time once every two weeks to hang out?”

9. They humiliate you.

Research source Make it clear to the person that you don't like being spoken about like that. If you encounter such disrespect at work, at school, or in your organization, report any derogatory comments to the human resources department or your supervisor.

- “I don't feel respect when you call me that or talk about me that way. Please stop.”

10. They're mad at you.

Disrespectful people may not care about your feelings. They may overly lash out at you or blame you for their problems. Although people get angry from time to time, healthy relationships never involve physical violence, coercion, or intimidation. Regardless of the nature of the relationship (whether it's with a supervisor, soulmate, or friend), you deserve to feel safe and respected no matter what.

- Stay calm and don't escalate the situation by shouting.[18]

- Reassure the other person by saying that you hear what he is saying: “It sounds like you would like me to...”

- If you can calmly fight back, say that you disagree with a certain behavior: “I can't talk to you when you yell at me.”

- Quit your job or relationship if the disrespect continues. You will find other people who appreciate you and truly respect you.

11. They fall silent when you enter the room.

Excluding others from the conversation is a clear sign of disrespect. This creates a separation between you and the group, making you feel like an outsider. But here's the thing, you really belong in this world! Help rude people get to know you as a person worthy of respect by making efforts to establish contacts with people around you. Inform your organization or higher management if disrespectful behavior worsens or continues, as this may indicate a more serious problem of discrimination or bullying.

- If you can't report negative treatment, find at least one “ally”, someone who treats you with respect and can help you stand up for yourself.

12. You're always the first to apologize.

Pay attention to how often they take responsibility when the two of you share the blame. Accepting partial responsibility for a misunderstanding or conflict indicates respect for the other person, because it shows that you value maintaining a relationship. When you've really made a mistake, it's okay to apologize, but when you notice that the other person rarely apologizes, get rid of the habit of taking all the blame on yourself.

- Ask yourself, “What is the message of my apology? Am I sending a message of sincere intentions and goodwill? Or am I reducing my presence and my value by taking on additional responsibility?”

13. You feel drained after spending time with them.

Talk to yourself when you get home after meeting this person. How are you feeling? Dealing with disrespect can be emotionally exhausting, even if you can't pinpoint exactly why that person is making you feel so bad. Consider ending a friendship or relationship if it has become toxic. If you can't get out of this situation (especially if it concerns work), spend time with people who help you in life and energize you.

- Ask yourself, "Does this person make me think good or bad about myself?"